Saturday, August 29, 2009
Saturday, August 22, 2009
I’m back to my problem of not starting, back to my habit of delaying, delaying, delaying, until the moment has passed and I no longer even have the chance of beginning. Waiting for the perfect moment, tomorrow always seems better than today, in a minute seems better than right now. But really, what better moment is there than right now? What better chance will I have than right now? This time, what I’ve been putting on hold is a technology/media break. My brain needs a way to slow down, to relax, to sleep. With constant access to the internet, my iPod, television, radio, movies, and books, there is a practically unceasing flow of information through my brain. Sometimes it’s good to sever that information stream and let yourself just be. I won’t have as much chance to do this once school starts, so now is the time, but I’ve been putting it off for weeks. There just always seemed like a better time. But there is no better time, or if there is, that time is now: so for the next two or three days I’m turning off my laptop, putting away my ipod, leaving the television off and (this is going to be the hardest for me) leaving my books on the shelf. I’m in need of some downtime. Not from work or school, but just from the constant information onslaught that is modern life. There’s always room for flexibility, like going to see a movie with an old friend, but for the most part, I’m planning on moving outside of the flow for the next few days. It’s time to BE.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
I’m in Florida right now, and have been more relaxed than I've felt in months. But then, forgetting the entire point of a vacation, I made the mistake yesterday of checking if my textbooks had been assigned yet for the coming semester. Bad Idea. They were, so I decided to see how much they would cost from the University Bookstore. I picked the used option as often as it was available (it’s better for the environment and my wallet), but it still came out to a hefty sum. As soon as I laid my eyes on the total, I felt an enormous, slightly acidic weight cut right through the wonderful relaxed feeling that sitting under the palm trees had given me. After getting over that initial sticker shock, I realized that I had known that my books would cost this much and that it’s all part of being a student. That being said, I still don’t particularly like it. It left me with a sensation of tightness in my chest and a vague feeling of anxiety. I never want to be a slave to money, and my tiny house dream is a way of getting there. I have always been a saver, not a spender. I like the feeling of security and freedom that comes with having at least some money in the bank. A tiny house won’t weigh me down with a thirty year mortgage and massive utility bills. I’ll be able to save my money for the things that matter most to me. The financial benefits aren’t what originally brought me to the small house movement, but it’s one of the many reasons I found to stay.